Parenting can be one of the most satisfying and rewarding things you do in your life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. No matter how old your kids are, you will always have work to do.
To be a good parent, you have to find a balance between making your child feel loved and teaching them right from wrong. Even when it’s hard, keep doing what you can to give your kids a safe place where they can grow up to be strong, independent, and kind.
1. Give your child plenty of affection
Try to build a strong mental and physical bond with your child throughout their childhood. With a warm touch or a kind word, you can show your child how much you care. Here are some ways to show that you care:
Give your child a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or even just a warm touch on the shoulder to show support and thanks.
Tell them every day that you love them, even if you’re mad at them.
2. Love your children unconditionally
Don’t try to make them be what you think they should be to get your love. Tell them that no matter what, you will always love them.
For example, you might want your child to be good at sports. But if they aren’t really interested in sports, it’s important to let them know that’s okay and help them find something they will enjoy more.
Even if you’re a very friendly person, don’t make your child feel bad if it takes them a while to get to know people.
3. Emphasize the importance of experiences over toys
Toys can keep your child busy for a while, but they can’t make your child feel as loved and cared for as you can. Instead, take the time to do fun things with your child. Even something as easy as eating an ice cream cone in the park can create a sweet memory that will last much longer than any toy.
Even just lying on the floor and reading can be a great way for you and your kids to spend time together.
4. Praise your children for their accomplishments
Help your kids feel good about themselves and proud of what they’ve done. Tell them when they do something good that you’ve noticed and that you’re proud of them. If you don’t give them the confidence they need to go out on their own, they won’t feel like they have the power to be independent or try new things.
Be specific when you praise someone so they know what you like about them. For example, instead of saying “Good job!” you could say, “You did a great job taking turns with your sister while playing,” or “Thank you for picking up the toys after you played with them.”
Make it a point to praise your kids more for what they’ve done and how they’ve behaved than for their natural abilities. That will teach them how important it is to try something hard.
Try to make it a habit to praise your kids more often than you tell them what they did wrong. Even though it’s important to tell your kids when they’re doing something wrong, it’s also important to help them build a good sense of who they are. Also, if you focus too much on your children’s bad behaviour, they may act up more to get your attention.
5. Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings
Celebrate the fact that each child is different and unique. If you compare your child to other children all the time, they might think they’re never good enough in your eyes. It could even hurt their chances of being successful in the future.[6] Help your kids learn how to reach their goals on their own terms instead of comparing them to other kids, and support them to take the path that works for them.
If you compare one child to their brothers, they might start to fight with each other. Try to raise your kids to love each other, not to compete with each other.
Also, don’t pick favourites among your children. If they are fighting, be fair and neutral.
